Columbia River Gorge

I rented a car, as it was cheaper and more convenient than paying for and going on a bus tour for the two of us. 

The falls were stunning,

The trees and some leaves enormous. 

It was a general feeling of Jurassic Park, complete with a few tourists you wished might be eaten by a raptor. 

Here we are on the Oregon Trail. 

Fortunately, Keagan didn't get dysentery, I escaped a snakebite, and I was able to pre-forage for a Diet Coke. 

We had a heated conversation over who was cooler: Lewis or Clark. 

Then we drove on until we saw some falls. These are Latifah Falls. Or something like that. Queen Latifah's show seems to be on the hotel TV a lot. She's so sweet!  But back to these falls. 

Keagan wondered if that waterfall could knock you over. I love my baby, so I wouldn't let him try. 

Cue the Jurassic theme song. The title theme, as I was in a good mood. 

Fun climbing terrain. 

The beautiful, but tourist overrun Multnomah Falls. This one is the most famous. It has a gift shop, a snack bar, and tons of annoying, bossy people.  

On the way up...

Look at the moss on these trees!

Cool little cave. 

Then came the "Move it!  I just want to get a picture," guy.

The "People need to stop pushing" guy who glared at me as the actual pushers who had been in front of me the whole time gazelled up the trail.

Rachel Carson who knowingly informed me that I was in a real rainforest!

Raptors?  Where are you?

Then came these damned "switchback" signs. At switchback 3 of 11 my crew, already unimpressed at the ample signage warning of poison oak, mutinied. Keagan told me that I didn't tell him we would be hiking all of these distances, I know he's afraid of heights, and that he hates me and...well, back down Mt. Everest he went. 

I took my time. 

I took a few pictures for families. 

With their own cameras. Geez. Did you think I'd be a creeper and take them with my own camera?

I meandered on back down where an apologetic crew awaited me. My crew told me he loved me and was worried I fell down and got killed. 

All better now!

Cool sign, eh?

We headed off to one more fall: Bridal Veil Fall. 

I was the George Costanza of parking on this trip. We got lucky every time. And if you were wondering, I rented a "compact" car this time, what with mountains and all, and luckily this one had an actual engine, as opposed to a hamster wheel with a sick hamster. 

My crew was done smiling for photos. 

I wanted to try swimming here. Keagan wanted to swim in the hotel pool. 

Our final scenic vistas were enjoyed at Castle Vista or something like that. 

Stunning views of the Columbia and /or Willamette River Valley. 

Free walking tour of Portland

Keagan had spent too much time doing this:

So, with great resistance, I finally got him to come with me. 

This was our guide. Very nice 20-something guy. 

We started in front of Pioneer Square, which was crazy with Adidas and ESPN and other companies doing a huge soccer thing. 

There was a parade led by bagpipes and a great deal of hoopla, so our guide quickly moved us out of the way. 

This is the high flood like from 1852. 

Did I mention that our guide really wants to be a stand up comedian?

This is one of many haunted locations in Portland. Allegedly a guy was drunk and fell out of the window on the top floor.  

Anyone who stays in rooms 201, 301, 401, etc. hears a scream every night at 3:34 AM. So people change rooms a lot. 

Also, this hotel, or one near it is the setting for the 50 Shades series. 

The Portlandia statue. On a post-modernist building from the 80s. She isn't even facing the water. Years ago, someone hung a giant yo-yo from her fingers. The sculptor was greatly offended, allegedly. 

Great price. 

Plug in car outlet for free. They pour a ton  of money into public transit and green initiatives.  Portland thanks the rest of America for our federal tax dollars. 

Forget a Starbucks on every corner. There are two strip clubs and a medical marijuana business for every Starbucks. 

This hipster was using the ice water from one of those cold drink bins. The store owner was shooing him away. The hipster's hipster friend said, "It's cool man. It just begs for it."  

Portland's LL Bean?

The end of the tour. Across from Voodoo 

Doughnuts.